Sunday, January 31, 2010

It's a Dangerous Game.

Mark an X on my hand without asking. I'll draw a circle on yours in return.
Attempted tic-tac-toe will follow. But the winner is of no concern. Hold my wrist and keep me away. I'll follow you into the riot. In this wilderness there is anarchy abound. Let me kiss you amongst all the noise. Just like New Years Eve, the world will renew. Scars recede as we climb the stairs. Leaving the fires of the world burning below. The higher we climb the more we smile. Until finally on the rooftop we see the lit up world. At such great heights, with such destructive beauty. We alone are happy.

I promise you in this game I won't get burned. The only path is up, climb with me. I've played before.

My only wish is that the fire didn't hide the stars.

Wash Away My Mask

What do you want me to be. I'll wear a mask. It'll be easy. I can be Clint, I can be me. Call me Mac, it'll be easy. Let me cater to your desire, whatever you want. It's not bizarre. I just want you to know I could be anything you like.

I can be blue, I can be green. All it takes is one request, it'll happen quick. A change for you. I won't even have to think. Watch what you say or I'll change this very moment. I could smile. I could cry. I could lead you or let you fly. It's not that I don't shine through, I just want to please you.

How can I help what you think? I gotta be everything more. Turn into perfection. I know the score. So call me blue and colour me green. What's underneath doesn't need to be seen. Use me for your bliss. I know you can't resist.

But the next day after all the fun and games. It all becomes clearer as I look in the mirror. All it takes is one scrub and the illusion drains away. The sink stained with the colours of yesterday. With clear decision I'll walk back to you, so you can see what you are buying.

"Fuck everything else. Call me Ryan."

Friday, January 29, 2010

Life is Worth Living

Wenn Es Passiert.
Ein Herzschlag nur für mich.

when it happens.
only one heartbeat for me.
in seconds I will code.
my simple heart will explode.
those who blink do not understand.
those who pass by cannot comprehend.
those who are with me.
no doubt see it clear.
and in those few seconds.
I hope they shed tears.
if you don't love this, what instead.
for living is useless without passion.
even though chaos is all around.
nothing is really new.
find yourself a different point of view.
when it happens.
there'll only be one heartbeat for me.
in seconds I will code.
my simple heart will explode.

you've got to realize. that when death comes, it'll be quick. the world is in disrepair, but that doesn't mean you need to despair. find your world, make it your sun and moon. and enjoy it while you can. because in the end, shit happens. then you die. so live on the edge and love with everything in your soul.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Secret Hour

You won't remember anyway. Those few hours that we lay together. Silent. Our eyes talking away. The next day bringing rain. The next day bringing pain. Just as the snow erases your footsteps so will it erase our moments together. I would say I was happy to forget with you. I would say it does not matter anymore. But pinky-promises don't count for nothing, especially when I look into your eyes, they surely mean something. And I can't pretend not to care. This world is devoid of understanding. Karma swings it is hollow club once again. Even though I'm not sitting in a bar like Mac or Buddy, I'm still lighting matches to burn the tips of my fingers. But this is the world. Have Faith.

Isn't it strange, how only a few words can derail a train and bring the world screeching to a halt. How only a few hours can mean so much and except for the circumstances be meaningful forever.
Just imagine it as a secret. One for you and me. One to whisper after dark like schoolchildren at a sleepover. It would have ceased to exist. As time marches on in this world, a few hours would have vanished all together. With only us knowing where they had gone.

It does not matter what happens in an hour that does not exist. But to me, it matters more than anything in an hour that does not exist. Because you won't remember anyway. And if it was all a dream, I'd like to hallucinate again. I'd like to share a secret with you in an hour that doesn't exist. Let's take that hour and spend it on the other side. I know you can't resist.

And once time begins again. From midnight to thirteen back to one. You won't remember anyway. And even though your memory won't come back. That lost hour is all I want to keep.

And once the clock resumes its dreadful ticking, once you have left our secret in the dark. I will go with the flow. I'll throw out my pinky and promise to take life slow.

Can you believe it? Can you conceive it?

But it's possible I won't be able to resist.
And I'll keep looking for that hour that doesn't exist.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Spaces Between Your Fingers...

I'd hold your hand in the park
as we walk on tree lined paths
I'd hold your hand in the mall
as we dodged the shopping masses
I'd hold your hand in the snow
as we slipped and slid down the road
I'd hold your hand in front of my friends
as we denied every social trend (living in our own world)
I'd hold your hand while with your mom
as we smiled and smiled without a frown
I'd hold your hand through mundane chores
as we traveled all throughout the town
but most of all,
I'd hold your hand every single night
as we held each other oh so tight

Friday, January 8, 2010

Random Poetry

Here is some random poetry I pulled from my collection. Not the best, but something to smile about I hope.


Better not to see what we could ever be,
because it could all fall into the sea
with the first lack of harmony.
than to have glanced upon
such a perfect life and then lose it all,
leading to endless strife.
so I'll travel this mediocre path
and know at least my emotions will last.
not worrying about the future or the past!
given a choice that's what I would do.
It was my plan at least... until I met you.

The next one was inspired by Fireflies by Owl City. The first two lines of it were borrowed from the song.

I'd like to make myself believe,
that planet earth turns slowly.
but this world spins upon any whim
and never asks before it goes
spinning around again.
so while we cannot control the stars
at least we have right now to dream,
and gaze out from our eyes so far
that it seems the world slows down for us.
and as we lay in our fantasies combined
I know that there will be a time
in which dreams come true
and the earth slows down for two.


Beautiful Binoculars

If I had you for a day, I would steal you away. From your friends, your family, your home. I'd take you to the nearest tourist trap, perhaps an overlook with some random view of the city. Of course there along the railing (meant to keep us from falling to our deaths) would be one of those pay 50 cents get 1 minute of super power binoculars. The kind you have to step up to and put your entire face into! I'd insist you give it try and only after I had already inserted the coins would you agree. Stepping up on the platform you would line your eyes up with the viewfinder. And then looking out into the world, you would not see the city skyline far out in front of us. Instead somehow, someway, you would see yourself, through my eyes.

Gone would be your doubts and self-depreciation. Gone would be every little thing you would like to change about yourself. Instead you'd notice the little things, the important things. You'd realize that when you smile, your entire face lights up. That tilting your head makes your hair fall just perfectly across your face. That your excitement radiates from your eyes as they sparkle in the sun.

Your worries and doubts would fade with each passing second, gazing at your own beautiful reflection. Until you finally saw yourself as I do. Perfection, simply perfect for me. Time would tick by as the meter clicked away, the 50 cents running low. Until finally the shutters would shut with a click! Leaving you staring into darkness.

Turning around you'd see me standing there and you'd finally realize what I've been telling you all along is true.

That you are beautiful.

You mean the world to me. I hope that soon you'll be my sun, moon, and stars too.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Alone in the Snow

The snow falls softly into the impressions where your feet once were.
Erasing your foot prints, your history, your life.
Have you ever stopped and turned around,
looked back at your slowly disappearing trail?
The past is washed away flake by flake.
And if you hesitate for too long, you too
will become a victim of the snow, a victim of time.
So please, turn around and ponder that which is behind you.
But do not cease your present forward motion.
Or else you will become buried by the enormous weight of a thousand weightless snowflakes and become lost forever. Buried by the enormous weight of each simple task you put off until the next day.

Keep moving. Surge ahead. But do not move too quick, or you will be overwhelmed with fatigue and weariness, only to fall behind in the end. If you move to quickly you will sweat and it will freeze, encasing you into a still block of ice. To slowly and the snow will overwhelm you, erasing you from the eyes of the world.

But then again, maybe you want to be lost. Lost for the sole reason to escape the mayhem of the world. Just remember, without another who shares your view, serenity can become quite lonely.

Lonely Bench

Hey girl sitting alone on the park bench reading a book.
You probably didn't notice me, tall, lanky,
awkward kid with glasses and a baseball cap,
black wires going from my pocket to my ears as I listened to Don McLean,
leaning against the giant oak tree twenty feet to your right.
But I noticed you, sitting alone on the brown bench.
How could I miss your sunny brown hair, converse on your feet,
heart drawn on your jeans with black sharpie, and cute smile
every time you read something interesting. But what I especially loved
was the fact that you sat all the way to one side of the bench,, not in the middle.
As if you sat in an open invitation for someone to join you and talk.
I wanted to walk over and sit next you, close but not to close, and point out the beautiful wildflowers lining the fence across the way.
No doubt you in your infinite wisdom already noticed them as they danced with the wind, but it would have been something to smile about together.
I leaned against the ancient oak for song after ancient song until you finally left.
It was only then that I had the courage to sit in the empty seat on that old bench.

Every Saturday since I've sat there, on the far side, leaving your seat open, hoping you would return.

Hoping you had more courage than I.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Unforgettable Eyes

I look into your eyes and fall into the void.
Captivation. Innocence. Serenity. Perfect.
Such a kaleidoscope represents your personality.
Your eyes are the steep, unforgiving trail to your soul.
I could sit and gaze and dream and wonder. If only you'd let me.
Let me fall for you, piece by piece, blink by blink.
It's not an obsession, though it could be. If you want.
Open your eyes at the world around you.
Open them wide and smile.
Let us sit together for awhile.
And who knows, maybe tomorrow we'll do it all over again.

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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Covert Images

I wish I could borrow your camera if only for a while. I'd steal it for a day or two snapping photos here and there. For every set of eyes sees the world with a different view and I'd show you mine with style.

You'd find your camera right where you left it, maybe sitting in a chair. Under a pile of blankets it'd be sitting idly waiting for you to take a look at what's inside.

And then you would find it. Browsing through the pictures of your friends or your cat you'd come across one that I took. You wouldn't be able to remember when or why you took the picture. Flipping through the next ten or so you'd realize that someone else had done the deed. Intrigued I imagine you'd hurriedly look at each new picture, pausing for a moment to give a sweet smile at kids playing in the park or a balloon as it spirals skyward.

Every 20 pictures or so I'd give you a hint, a picture of my shirt or glasses. Piece by piece you would put my puzzle together. Forming an image of me in your mind. Slowly you would realize who the covert photographer was.

And I hope it would make you smile.

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Infinity in a Second

An instant can last forever and an eternity can flash by in an instant. How can we measure that which leaps back and forth between the two? I dreamt that I wrote a message for you in the sand, but the waves washed it away and you never saw. How can we expect to live in such uncertain times? When cruel waves erase that which I want to last forever? When the next snowfall or sunrise destroys my heart drawn in the snow.

How can you measure the distance between us? You are indeed closer to me than any person I've walked past in a crowded mall, or stood nose to nose with on a jerking, swinging bus ride. You are in my mind and heart, which places you forever in my arms.

I hope the moment you are in my arms will last forever, because each instant I spend away from you seems like forever.

I want real-life slow motion, to watch the twinkle in your smile, the look in your eyes. To watch your beauty in such detail that I can count the snow flakes as they fall to rest on your shoulders.

I want every moment that we are together to last for infinity, to make up for all the lifetimes I've lived without you.

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I want to meet you without planning it. Just run into you randomly as we pass through each others lives. Pass you on the street as you drop your mittens, smile as I return them to you. For that fleeting instant we would be in the others life, that one moment the constant worry of the world would lift off of our shoulders. One smile, given and hopefully returned, would bring instantaneous peace to our hearts. And who knows? Maybe I'd get curious and follow you to the bus stop sitting a few seats behind you. I'd realize my obsession with that small smile I had seen only moments before was borderline creepy and proceed to get off at the next stop. Accidentally getting off at the wrong stop you'd follow me off the bus and smile when you saw me walking away. Chasing after me you'd make small talk and from there we'd get a drink. We'd walk downtown and laugh as I failed to catch a taxi, having never tried before, and live the rest of the day in each others eyes. Run into the candy store and live like we were 6 years old. Find the tallest building in the city and ride the elevators till we hit the top. Attempt to sneak out onto the roof, and unable to open the rooftop access we'd laugh at every floor on the way down, but smile secretly when we had company for a floor or two. We'd find a lost life and teach them to sing, but argue over what song was most appropriate. Colour crayon pictures in the library, screaming and yelling up and down the rows of books. We'd steal food from a vice presidents dinner and give it to someone laying in the street. Lose interest in the world and get lost together for awhile, then come smiling back into reality when a sudden rain shower caught us outside. Each cold wet drop would dampen our bodies but not our spirits, we'd be shivering and completely soaked without an umbrella but then we'd kiss to keep our lips warm. We'd lay and watch the sunset over the mountains. Watching the colours spread across the sky. And as you lay in my arms I'd finally ask you your name, which I had not known all day long. As you whisper it in my ear we'd both smile and snuggle closer to each other.

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Idealism Vs. Realism

If you enjoy reading old classics that force you to scrutinize human interactions and you haven't read "The Sea Wolf" by Jack London, get to it. While it's a little tougher book than what is written nowadays, London sets up a thrilling tale that I am sure could engage any reader. This book is filled with action and adventure, drama and even romance! But for those who look for deeper meanings within works of literature, one that becomes slowly apparent throughout the novel is the battle between Idealism and Realism, and where to draw the line. The two main characters, one Idealistic in nature, one Realistic, constantly clash in The Sea Wolf.

So go pick it up, give it a try. It's worth the time!

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Back to Idealism Vs. Realism though, among the multiple facets of the human personality, I believe that EVERYONE can be either a Realist or an Idealist. Idealism meaning (a definition I like from "the tendency to represent things in an ideal form, or as they might or should be rather than as they are, with emphasis on values." And Realism being "familiar, or mundane aspects of life are represented in a straightforward or matter-of-fact manner that is presumed to reflect life as it actually is."

Most people I would assume are a blend of both, but lean towards one or the other. From my previous posts it is obvious that I lean heavily towards Idealistic, but I know when I need to realist in order to not float away and get work done!

Basically, there is no right or wrong to be one or the other, but I want you to realize, to think about it and decide when the time is right to be which one. If you are dreaming when you should be down to earth and working, then you obviously need to switch. And visa verse, if you are looking at the quick, common side when in a deep conversation, you could easily infuriate the other person.

So think, realize there is a difference, look at which way you lean and when you do lean that way and decide if it is right in that situation.

It's just another way to look at the world and human interaction in general.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

NYE Resolutions

2010 has come at last. Or has it come too fast? Time to forget all that's in the past.

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Enough with the silly rhymes! New Years has come and gone, and along with it are all the troubles of the past year. It is a time to start anew, a time for "rebirth". On my way home from a party today a church sign valiantly declared the passing of the decade was a chance to "Be Born Again". Everyone is discussing New Year's Resolutions, getting a fresh start. I think that's great. Everyone should be trying to lead a better, healthier, kinder lifestyle. But what I want to know, is WHY does it take the changing of the year to force everyone to do it????

People should realize that just because the date changes from 09-10, that it does not automatically start them over. Nor does it mean that this is the ONLY time in which one can accept a change in their life. What people need to realize is that by the time you see a need for change, it is already too late. Waiting any longer for New Years only prolongs it. The only person who can bring about this positive change is yourself. And this can happen at ANY TIME! one special page flip in the calender should not be the kick start into your positive change. It should be you and your inner self that want this change.

So if you realize, in a month, in 5 months, that your so called "resolutions" weren't really what you needed. And that something else needed to be changed. DO NOT put the next change off until the next New Year! Bring about this change now, you have the power.

What are you waiting for. Nothing is stopping you.