Monday, March 29, 2010

It's true.

A moment is both tiny and vast/there is so much in something not meant to last/you smiled at me and time sped by so fast/all of life's troubles were swept into the past

I'm one of three. You don't realize how special that makes me. Maybe it doesn't mean much to you. And if so, then we'll never see this through. But I am ready.

You are one of two. The others don't count. As much as you name names, they don't rank that high. Maybe you'll never understand why. The others will never see me cry.

I dream of a place where the stories I write come true. In a city we have never known, where the only currency are smiles and hugs. Where time spent together seems to last forever and promises only matter when they're whispered.

And a day when the darkness doesn't scare anyone. A day when loneliness is a myth. No matter who you're with. Trust is key... I wish you could be that way with me.

Cause ya know babe, I've been trying to wake up peacefully.

Monday, March 22, 2010

It's not your fault.

As the bass hits your heart jumps in rhythm. Miles speed by with every rotation. White knuckled fury combines with a stiff foot as you surge forward. Encased in emptiness as the sun warms your hair. The box that encloses you hides you from despair. The glass in front becomes a blank canvas where you scribble thoughts and ideas and words in hurried, messy bits. The turmoil inside disguises everything else. Lost in your head the rest of the world slips by.
Just like the rhythm of pounding feet. Counting a cadence with each footfall. Counting your thoughts with each exhaled breath. A mind-numbing repeating rhythm. The burn starts in spots, then spreads through your body. Leaving it all behind you begin to focus. The pavement in front becomes a blank canvas where you scribble thoughts and ideas and words in hurried, messy bits. A beautiful rhythm. Lost in your head the rest of the world slips by.

I understand. Everyone is the same.

So please consider, that it goes both ways. That life will come and go. Time repeats itself in curious ways. And that we have all been there before. We will all go there again. Today is no different than tomorrow. Tomorrow no different than yesterday.Remember that it will all be ok. And when the wind blows strong, know that nothing is wrong, the world just feels like living a little. Life will be peaceful by morning.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

It can only go up from here...

Alone driving in sunlight.
Driving until you're in my sight.
Waiting to make your day.
Waiting for what you'll say.
Spending time in the sun.
Spending life with you is fun.
Climbing such highs together.
Climbing, ignoring the weather.
Looking out upon the world.
Looking at a pretty girl.
Sitting beside you, time to smile.
Sitting together just for awhile.

It's such a high to see you smile. Heads together in the dark. Holding you tight is just the start.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

It's Your World.

When you look at your life... ask yourself, who gives a shit?

Do what you want.

Steal a stop sign.
Rob a bank.
Light a match.
Burn your house down.
Run in circles.
Try to fly.
Smash a window.
Blare your music.
Hug at a stranger.
SCREAM until you can't stand up.
Fall down onto the grass.
Stare at the sky.
Throw your hands up.
Run until you're breathless.
Play in traffic.
Throw baseballs off a building.
Get in a fight.
Hitch-hike to nowhere.
Love the first thing you see.
Walk around blindfolded.
Play hopscotch in the mall.
Top 100 mph.
Skip into a movie theater.
Make someone's day.
And never forget to smile.

For god's sake just breath the fucking air and live your life!

Live Deliberately! You Are Free!

Friday, March 19, 2010


A lot of times, I'll find a line or two on the internet that hit me so hard I write about the idea and embellish them. I don't take the lines, but I work on the idea. Well sometimes you come across something that is just so perfect that you can't say it any better. To try and change this, to try and put it into my own words would be insulting. So below is a bit from Secret Vespers, a Web-Comic by Patrick Edwards-Daugherty. His website is located here

The piece that I found so fascinating is below, titled:

play music neither of us has heard...

The decade has changed us. We ride the subway like zombies, staring into space while our earplugs sing us songs we know by heart. Back home, back online, we flip through the avatars of people we have not seen in years, if ever. In text messages, in status updates, we pretend to be profound, represent our emptiness as brevity and wit, all of us chasing that high of recognition, all of us wanting our cut, our spot in the culture, our drug.

I have been grounded by fear. Any one of us could be the terrorist. And though we fight against the extremes of opinion and tactics, isn’t it delicious how the mainstream, the everyday commute, the engineered food and plastic computer are killing us? It is a quicksand, to struggle against it just swallows us faster.

All I want today is to turn the noise off, sink into a couch and play music neither of us has ever heard. I want to consign the cynicism of the world to others, and simply walk with you a while. I want to stay up all night making stories for you and forgetting them. I want a rebellion of the one real friend versus the eight hundred, of the private moment versus the public, of the things loved and forgotten against the clung-to, of the sensed and felt versus the reported.

I want to get to know you through the music you love, the books that have changed you, through your most fleeting and foolish fantasies, and through my own five senses. I want to know the you who has stayed up too late, gotten too drunk, indulged in too many daydreams out loud, and is not worried about how she comes off. When the end comes, I promise I will not care exactly where we all went wrong.

~Patrick Edwards-Daugherty

I wish I could say I wrote that. But all the admiration goes to my friend Patrick.
I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

For me, the last two paragraphs, the last line, hit especially hard. It fits.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Random Poetry...

Some more random poetry that I wrote awhile ago.

Tears of Chaldea

Who shall cry when all is done
over the hillside
away from the sun
the victors shall ride
away from the sun

Tears of agony
Tears of woe
Tears of victory over a silenced foe

Yet it is not over
in minds so deep
sleeping on clover
while their allies weep

red tinted clover
so unnaturally human
caught in the sun
sparkles with lost thoughts
that were once full of fun

and so they lay
till nature claims them
and nothing that is done
can change them

they lie so silent
sleeping on clover
the victors were violent
and none rolled over

Tears of agony
Tears of woe
Tears of victory over a silenced foe

Who shall cry when all is done
over the hillside
away from the sun
the victors shall ride
away from the sun

Untitled # 16

Without hope you might as well be blind,
Without love you'll waste away to the end of time,
But faith prevails and gives hope a chance,
giving me the courage to ask for a dance,
with it giving love a chance to grow,
so I ask this one time, because I need to know,
if you'll be mine, to help make faith meet fate,
lifting my blindness, allowing me to create
such a sight in my eyes, giving my heart such a rise,
all because of one brief chance, that ended in romance.

If we spend our time thinking of somewhere else... shouldn't it make sense that we should be there? Why limit our happiness because of laziness? If you aren't happy, do what makes you happy.


Strive for what you want. You've got nothing to lose.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

How are you?

Every time you see me you ask me how I am. Countless times we're asked this question, so often that the answer becomes automatic. Like bullets a "Good" or "Fine" is shot right back at the questioner. Never do we really stop to think about the true answer. And even if I knew most of the time I wouldn't tell you.

Well right now I do know.

Right now it's like when you go to your favourite playground from when you were a kid. And find that the swing sets that you spent so much of your life on are gone, replaced by a jungle gym. The slide that needed so much courage to climb is now a teeter-totter. And the baseball field where you had those late night pickup games is nothing but grass. It's still a playground. Kids still spend hours in breathless joy. But it doesn't feel the same. It doesn't fit your memory. You're not sure why this happened and you're not sure why you care. And the more you think about it the less you get to any conclusion. It turns into just one more thing pressing down upon your sun. The caffeine and the pills and the 12 hours of sleep stops working and you transition from the lost playground to the stranger that didn't return your hello when you passed by on the street. The friend who didn't return your call. The person you loved a year ago who lay down next to you, drawing up the future in thousands of useless words detailing every moment and bright idea both of you drowning in useless Idealism on that damn water bed where you could never sit still and this fucking bracelet which you want to burn but you can't seem to cut it off your wrist and it really doesn't matter anyway its just string yet for some reason your mind just can't stop this damn cycle and you just need to RELAX.

well... maybe it's better that we leave it to a simple "Good" or "Fine" and a smile created to disguise what's inside.

Whats Wrong with a Little Destruction?

All alone in this tiny shop of glass. I sit and gaze at the art around me. Everything reminding me of my not so simple past. Teacups and vases line the walls, with mirrors and china surrounding them all. Fragile lives teeter on definite edges. Sitting their life away with nothing to do but sparkle. Shine in motionless silence. Not even the air, in its multitude of moves, disturbs the quiet shop of glass. All is whole.

Life does not work this way. Nothing can sit in a suspended state. Nothing is perfect. Nothing can shine forever. It's not sane. It's simply an illusion of the world. It's misery.

All it takes is one breath. One wink. One hit. One push. One idea. One butterfly. Destruction. Devastation. Disruption. With one solid swing you can smash a shelf. Glass litters the floor. Another, and a teacup shatters. This shop collapses with a hundredth of the effort it took to build. Reflecting life, reflecting our world, the shop is destroyed. And it feels good.

So much is lost, all the work, patience, creativity. Nothing is left but chaos and confusion. Nothing makes sense. But it's only after we have lost everything that we are free to do anything. Through the dust a new world can be built. A better world. Destroy the nostalgic ties to your life and you will be free. Only after disaster can we be resurrected. Only after we erase here and now can we create our future.

Destroy your china shop and create your future from the dust. Only then will you be free.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Is This All Make Believe???

I could sit down and write forever. Typing away at my keyboard, pen scribbling on loose napkins at a cafe, mental notes as I ride a jerking, bumpy subway. Everyone who read my words would understand. I could convince the world I knew what I was talking about. That I had all of the answers.

But the truth is that when it comes to love, nobody knows what they are talking about.

I am not really good with words. And there is really nothing left to say.

I'll go back to writing nice things when I am in love with the world again.

Because right now,

I don't want you in.

Friday, March 5, 2010


But you gotta keep in mind that you need to

see the world in bold colours.
enjoy your fantasy, reject their reality.
take a risk for your own sake.
love with every fiber in your soul.
smile often.
laugh even more.
be content with what you have.
but strive for a higher level.
watch a sunset now and then.
buy a 4 year old some ice cream, they deserve it!
look at the stars.
hug someone everyday, you both need it.
enjoy every day.
tell someone thank you.

we all know the story called The King's Chessboard by David Birch. It is about a king that wanted to reward his wise man. The man didn't want anything, but the king insisted. So the wise man decided he wanted a grain of rice on the first square of the chessboard, and he wanted the amount doubled every day for each of the 64 squares. A grain of rice is tiny but collectively it adds up to a lot.

So finally remember to find meaning in the little things. They are more important than you think.

Receding Footsteps.

I'll watch the sky change colours. Fading evenly across the sky, receding into the night. Darkness advancing, creeping with shadows against my feet. Sitting right where you left me, watching the world silently. Stars twinkle in the last of the sunlight. Shrouded in silence I let my thoughts surround me with the coming of the night. A smile on my lips, remembering you sitting with me. Fingertips aligned, secret whispers filling the silence of the coming night. Sitting right where you left me, I watched you walk away silently. Not moving until you were long out of sight and longer still.

I never hang up first, I'm never the one to let go. I just watch you walk away and hope you'll think of me, as I think of you tonight.

But then you'd turn back and smile, for one last wave goodbye. Stormy eyes seem to shine, the sky radiates vibrant tones, and I know peace is mine tonight. The world seems brand new, hearts beat quicker still. It's never as simple as we once knew, drenched in thoughts we're swimming tonight. But your smile and wave let me know everything will be alright.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

It's been such a long time...

It's true. I do.

And I feel bad that it's taken me this long to finally realize it. Random texts when we need reassurance just isn't enough.

The other day for some reason I remembered the last time we saw each other. I can't help but smile when I remember your minute long I don't want you to leave hug.

I'll fix this. At least for a bit. I promise!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Waking Up.

I feel that the entire world, at least the mass majority of it, have a peaceful, happy mindset. We all strive for serenity in a Locke type of fashion. The stresses life puts upon us might hide this urge, in some very deep, but if you try hard enough you can find this in just about everyone. In my endless random searches through the internet I came across this tidbit which I couldn't help but share. A video which asked one question. Very simple, very easy, but in this world with all of its closing doors it gave way to enormous possibility.

The question, which was asked of 50 random people on the streets of Brooklyn, New York was one which I had to think long and hard about myself.

"Where would you wish to wake up tomorrow?"

This simple question brought smiles and fantasies in these strangers and truly showed the yearning for peace and tranquility in all of them. Watching bits like this really ensnare a sense of pathos and brighten my day entirely.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Fifty People, One Question: Brooklyn from Fifty People, One Question on Vimeo.

Another video done in London can also be accessed at the website -->

William Wordsworth wrote that the memory of a field of daffodils raised him from depression when thing got rough or as he put it:
"For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,"

For me it is things like this. The human element in us all coming out in small pieces, making us smile, making us happy.

It lets us know that,

SO !

"Where would you wish to wake up tomorrow?"

I know my answer.