tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65144177326023801702024-03-08T01:07:45.021-05:00Points NorthRyan AveryRyan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-24341134561093574982010-08-11T14:13:00.001-04:002010-08-11T14:13:18.542-04:00New LocationI've just created a Word Press Blog located here<br />
<br />
www.iluppn.wordpress.com<br />
<br />
From now on I will be posting everything new there. <br />
<br />
Future goals include getting rid of the wordpress and making it<br />
www.iluppn.com<br />
<br />
but that will take some money! <br />
<br />
So until then visit the new site for any and all future posts.<br />
<br />
Thanks,<br />
<br />
RyanRyan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-61074209746973970102010-08-09T23:22:00.000-04:002010-08-09T23:22:08.166-04:00Shinin' down like Water.It's never just rain. Showering down with mixed emotions. You can dance or you can cry. The tears just blend in anyway. So flush your skin hot. Be sure to wet your socks. Splashing in puddles muddy with life. Sending pictures of days gone by flying to collect once again. Drop by drop coming together to show you the reflection of your smile (encased by the sky above). And as beaded water collects (then fly's off) your fingertips when you spin be sure to jump in that puddle again. Send those memories soaring over and over until you've chased away that boredom. <br />
<br />
It's never just rain. So get out while you can before that damn sun comes back.<br />
<br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img193.imageshack.us/i/rain460.jpg/'><img src='http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/952/rain460.jpg' border='0'/></a>Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-61038657521412604302010-08-01T17:04:00.000-04:002010-08-01T17:04:34.262-04:00Still SleepMy bookcase is about to fall, leaning like that famous tower, except not so glorious. A build-it-yourself cheapo that groans and moans and complains with the weight of too many books. With one push it would topple over onto the bed. Falling right down onto where we lay. My arm is around you, your head on my shoulder. You've fallen asleep and the world is perfect. I'm trapped underneath you. And I dare not move for fear that you wake. But it's good that you've fallen asleep. This way I don't have to move and I'd need no excuse to stay. <br />
<br />
The mattress has no frame. It just lays on the floor. And the anchorperson on t.v. is talking about some foreign war. The faint voices grow dimmer and dimmer, becoming white noise to back up your steady breathing. I give you a small squeeze and lay down my head. Closing my eyes I smile. Because I know it'll only be a few hours until I talk to you again.<br />
<br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img825.imageshack.us/i/39869101502571723652017.jpg/'><img src='http://img825.imageshack.us/img825/2936/39869101502571723652017.jpg' border='0'/></a>Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-16688845735782543612010-08-01T00:13:00.000-04:002010-08-01T00:13:29.327-04:00Little DriftersIt's been awhile since I've written anything decent because I've been caught up in 100 words.<br />
<br />
I apologize. (quote from deadwood)<br />
<br />
anyway. In lieu of a sappy post to make girls fall in love with me, I'll give you something I wrote just a bit ago. Basically a childhood memory. Hope you enjoy it.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
When I was younger the neighbor down the street had a gigantic pool in his backyard. Being a mindful pool owner, once a year he would empty the entire thing to clean it. This process entailed attaching a huge hose to the side of the pool and running it down to the street. Then he would turn the valve and let the water flow. The water would follow gravity from his pool to the street, into the gutters and then drain through grates placed every so often into the sewers. The nearest grate was on the corner of the street. When he hit that valve, the water flowed from his house all the way down to the end of the block. The vast amount of water created a miniature stream in the gutter for the entire time the pool was draining. Even on days that were cloudless and scorching the water flowed incredibly strong. <br />
<br />
In my yard there used to be a tree with very interesting seeds. Looking like needles, about an inch long, but flat. There was a vein running down the middle of the seed, giving it two sides. Well, when you put these seeds in water, with an avid imagination you no longer had a seed. Instead you had a racing boat! The bow was the pointy end which connected to the tree. My brother and I would each scour the yard for the hardiest and fastest boats we could find. Running up to the spot where the water entered the street we would each drop our boats in on the count of three. Then chasing and cheering them along we would race to the end of the block!<br />
<br />
Years of wear and tear and nature had eradicated any smooth, seamless surface from the gutters lining the street. The voyage from source to sewer was a treacherous one to say the least. Not only were there loose pebbles creating rapids, but twig dams (you had to portage over these), and wide slow lakes that spilled out into the street (either you invoked the power of god to reposition your ailing craft, or you decided erect some sails and blow like hell). Always was the fear of losing your prized boat in the turmoil that was the gutter. More than once I stopped following mine for a split second, only to lose it among the numerous other boats that were making the trip as well. Sometimes the owners of the other craft decided that the trip was uneventful when you relied on the elements alone. Ignoring cries of "Don't! or Stop!", a racer would subject the opposing craft to a barrage of missiles intent on sinking it. Rocks and dirt would rain down upon the racecourse, sending waves and debris flying everywhere. It was rare that a boat survived a direct hit. <br />
<br />
It was not common that a boat reached the end of the trip to the sewer. On the rare occasions that it did often it would only end up spilling over the grating and careening down into the depths, lost forever. When it had made a successful journey through the perilous course, often a racer would become attached to his noble craft and attempt to save it from the fall. Hurriedly a hand would reach down, trying to grab the boat before it fell. Sometimes the boat was saved and carried to the beginning to race again, others it was lost.<br />
<br />
One day a year my neighbor emptied his pool. Usually during the middle of summer when it was hotter than anything. So with the sun blazing down on us my brother and I raced from end to end of the street. Racing our seed-boats and splashing in the flow of pool water on a cloudless day. We raced and ran and played until the water stopped. It was unnoticeable at first. But as the flow weakened, the rapids grew smaller, the lakes became shallower, and the boats slowed down to a crawl. Until finally the once-a-year river dried up altogether. We would stay with it until its last. Playing until our boats were barely moving. And then finally, we would accept the truth. Ending our race, we would trudge inside. Exhausted, quiet, yet smiling.<br />
<br />
It has been years since I raced those boats in the gutters. I don't even know if my neighbor still has a pool even. But I can always count on those hot summer memories to bring a smile.Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-15644752278590702722010-07-24T01:03:00.001-04:002010-07-24T01:04:01.257-04:00100 Words.Recently I've gotten really into this website called 100 words. <br />
<br />
located here : www.100words.com<br />
<br />
You can go to their About section to read all about it. But basically it's a "social tasking" (coined by them, not me) experiment where users write 100 words (no more, no less) a day for an entire month. If you finish the whole month, called a batch, your work is saved. I started this July and have so far made it to Day 24. It is a bit difficult sometimes to say all that you want to say in a strict 100 word format. That's what makes it interesting.<br />
<br />
Though my batch hasn't been completed yet, I'll post a few days here for you to read.<br />
<br />
07/10<br />
It's a plane ride, a train ride, a car trip away. But I can make it in a single day. It's worth the trouble, that I know. To travel from the land of snow, to the land of, um, er, more snow? I hope you smile and I hope you blush. Even though I cannot flirt all that much. The things we'll do, the list grows long. Kind of like some damn country song. We'll learn to swing dance, to sway, and to swirl. It'll be one hell of a trip. I cannot wait to show you, my Denver Girl.<br />
<br />
07/14<br />
With the whim of the wind I spin around again. No true direction at all. Except towards endless blue I fall. The skies around me are empty as I plunge into this sea. My mind wiped blank as I sank and sank. I couldn't think. I couldn't speak. Every effort to swim was meek and mild. In all my years I felt as if I were a child. And so resigned to my fate, I laid back and gave up on it all. The years and tears and fears. Thrown away. No more struggle and strain. I finally feel sane.<br />
<br />
<br />
07/21<br />
We do not know what the future holds. Obviously. All I know is what I am feeling right now. I can't promise you forever. I can't even promise tomorrow. All I can promise is that this very instant everything will be good. Because right now I feel everything so intensely. And I am going to make of it what I can. Not worry about tomorrow or ten years from today. Looking only at what is happening right now. Because these feelings are true and deep and total. And when it comes down to it, that is all that matters really.Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-20043521231712161552010-07-14T00:20:00.001-04:002010-07-14T00:20:35.997-04:00Summer NoiseIt's 8:45 pm and the game is starting. The sky is turning into my beloved cotton candy painting. And I am thinking about you. The cheers from the T.V. reach my ears as I look west. Past the trails of jets and clouds and deep into the sky. I am standing here looking, tapping the wooden rails of the fence on my deck and thinking. Worried actually. As peaceful as the colours and the cheers are they blend together into a white haze of senses. My mind is racing and this stop motion summer night cannot keep up. And I cannot type love letters for the life of me but I desperately want to try. I need to try at least once because the night is so peaceful and so perfect that it should be illegal to be alone.<br />
<br />
I can't remember names or phone numbers at all. Yours fell by the wayside long ago.<br />
<br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img3.imageshack.us/i/95714625.jpg/'><img src='http://a.imageshack.us/img3/999/95714625.jpg' border='0'/></a>Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-38932705163308553842010-07-11T23:08:00.001-04:002010-07-12T23:51:18.803-04:00Nothing is as it appears.Twisted tangled wires in my head.<br />
Nothing makes sense as we slip into bed.<br />
we lay and we sleep, we dream and we think<br />
we talk and we chatter, then drift into silent matter<br />
The sheets are waves and we'll waste days<br />
playing sailors and pirates and knights.<br />
Trampolines are a one of a kind thing, <br />
but this Twin sized paradise substitutes pretty nice.<br />
Collapse in relief, smiling in disbelief.<br />
Nothing to do but laugh the time away.<br />
The record skips and dips and sways<br />
as we try to dance the night over.<br />
Except clumsiness comes into play<br />
And we slip and fall, bouncing to the floor.<br />
Shut the door, hide under the covers.<br />
We'll dream up new colours<br />
and realize that shades don't exist.<br />
Throwing open the windows<br />
basking in the cool breeze<br />
we're sailing, flying, diving<br />
9-5 is make believe. <br />
and as we finally sink down to sleep,<br />
the sky lightens into day.<br />
And only then is there nothing left to say.<br />
<br />
Then my mind is clear<br />
For when you are near,<br />
I have nothing to fear.<br />
<br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img715.imageshack.us/i/beddy.jpg/'><img src='http://img715.imageshack.us/img715/3979/beddy.jpg' border='0'/></a>Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-24924192557724730602010-07-03T04:17:00.000-04:002010-07-03T04:17:52.395-04:00Clouded ThoughtsI can't get it out of my head. As this 2 AM fog rolls ahead. Ain't nothin' shining but these fireflies. The definition of concentration is for your eyes. I dive and dive. It's all in your eyes. It might be carelessness, that I admit. But don't dismiss me so quick. It's honest and sincere and true. What else would I offer you? Cutting a path through fields of white. Your voice carrying me through the night. Impossible, intangible, awkward, I know. Slow down my thoughts and we'll get through this alright. Your voice carries me through the night. I'll pretend and relax until it has passed. I know I can't bring time back. Emotions never last. So help me steady, help me slow. Wait till time is ready. Wait. I know.<br />
<br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img149.imageshack.us/i/fogk.jpg/'><img src='http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/9382/fogk.jpg' border='0'/></a><br />
<br />
Uploaded with <a target='_blank' href='http://imageshack.us'>ImageShack.us</a>Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-77941625793568513432010-06-24T01:01:00.000-04:002010-06-24T01:01:21.538-04:00Just another brick in this goddamn wall.When the night falls from the sky and crashes among us all. The world will wonder why the stars continue to fall. Not shooting across to a distant horizon. Not disappearing into the sun. But straight down into our eyes within. Our lives will come undone. Confusion and mayhem soon erupts. We'll run and scramble, each our own. Disrupt this steady stream of comfort. Blown away by the collapse and fall.<br />
<br />
Our mortgage, our car, our materialism will seem very far when it all goes to pieces. We'll view the world differently. So put your faith in what matters most. For the most important things in life aren't things. Love with your whole being. Love with your whole heart. Love will free you and set you apart.<br />
<br />
Fighting hard for legal tender your life spins as if in a blender. You forget and work and work and tire. You've put your entire life up for hire. And what for? To sit and stare at pictures in a box, to lose yourself in a world you absorb to forget. To sit and dream of things you don't have yet.<br />
<br />
Free yourself! No one else will. Don't package your dreams and set them on a sill.Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-65032631808495950022010-06-15T01:45:00.000-04:002010-06-15T01:45:10.801-04:00Unintentional Stereotypes...My interests have sent me along many paths... and as i've matured i've begun to define myself as a person. It's interesting though to see how these inter clash, and how I may look to other people... <br />
walking around my house the other day, i realized that if somebody came bursting in on me right then and pushed PAUSE on my life movie, i would fit perfectly into the hippie stereotype. <br />
<br />
for example:<br />
<br />
I was telling my brother that I "really dig your new carpet, im amazed at how soft it is! pretty groovy man"<br />
SLANG !<br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img337.imageshack.us/i/slangterms.jpg/'><img src='http://img337.imageshack.us/img337/6637/slangterms.jpg' border='0'/></a><br />
<br />
While wearing a crazy random (albeit modern) coloured shirt.<br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img17.imageshack.us/i/mrmittensbigadventure28.gif/'><img src='http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/9625/mrmittensbigadventure28.gif' border='0'/></a><br />
<br />
and faded, ripped, torn jeans which have seen to many summers<br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img231.imageshack.us/i/rippedjeans.jpg/'><img src='http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/2222/rippedjeans.jpg' border='0'/></a><br />
<br />
along with equally worn and torn chucks<br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img13.imageshack.us/i/mf008496.jpg/'><img src='http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/5484/mf008496.jpg' border='0'/></a><br />
<br />
over my shoulder was a 1979 Pentex SLR 35mm camera, <br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img94.imageshack.us/i/209130656734bb86d9ecm.jpg/'><img src='http://img94.imageshack.us/img94/5192/209130656734bb86d9ecm.jpg' border='0'/></a><br />
<br />
which had a retro strap with great designs on it!<br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img9.imageshack.us/i/camerastrap.jpg/'><img src='http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/9871/camerastrap.jpg' border='0'/></a><br />
<br />
In my back pocket was a battered copy of Jack Kerouac's - On The Road (read it, you'll understand why it fits)<br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img193.imageshack.us/i/240b.jpg/'><img src='http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/4084/240b.jpg' border='0'/></a><br />
<br />
<br />
all the while listening to Elton John's Yellow Brick Road Album on vinyl in my room!<br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img822.imageshack.us/i/vinyl.jpg/'><img src='http://img822.imageshack.us/img822/6029/vinyl.jpg' border='0'/></a><br />
<br />
other than my new haircut (which cut about 4 inches off) i fit the stereotypical description of a hippie. <br />
<br />
It wasn't intentional, I just pieced myself together that day with things I liked, things that defined me. <br />
<br />
Amazing what the world shows us isn't it?Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-54840285426183114732010-06-06T12:08:00.000-04:002010-06-06T12:08:30.685-04:00Racing AlongI want to follow the cotton candy sunset. Soaking in pink and blue. Knowing this is as good as it gets. Racing the power lines. A mix tape created by you, drinking boxed wine, wearing sharpie tattoos. Knowing life will be fine, going whatever speed we choose. Who cares about all the rest, so long as we chase this cotton candy sunset. And as the light falls and darkness surrounds us, we won't be scared. The brightness of the dashboard reflects the twinkle in our eyes. Our happiness is no disguise. Living the future the way it is supposed to be. Miles zoom underneath as we run into the night. Following this never ending road straight to the horizon. Reminiscent of an old western. Straight and steady, fading from sight. We'll follow the evervescent sunset into the next light.<br />
<br />
(The squeel of the brakes, collection of empty bottles, and stains in our clothes just add character. Our eyes are not worn out and you won't believe me when I saw we are ready for the next adventure. But we are. These battered images are trails straight to our lives. Battle hardened and tired of average life. Our hearts are in plain view, it is nothing new. Trust me, you can be happy too. I'll teach you.)<br />
<br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img412.imageshack.us/i/25686101933bbb167438.jpg/'><img src='http://img412.imageshack.us/img412/4765/25686101933bbb167438.jpg' border='0'/></a><br />
<br />
Uploaded with <a target='_blank' href='http://imageshack.us'>ImageShack.us</a>Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-41602000327005231132010-05-27T01:45:00.000-04:002010-05-27T01:45:26.822-04:00Wildly AwayWhen I slam onto this pedal and the road spills out in front. Don't grab on for dear life. Don't let your head lead you into strife. Just hold my hand, let the mix tape soothe your soul, and let's spend life speeding away. We'll spin in and out of chaos, forever getting lost. Living a thousand fantasies combined. Finally smiling in this new life of crime. You will never understand what we left behind. Years of theft and hate and construction zones. Stealing our happiness away is the crime of their lives. We couldn't live and stay alive. To escape is the only way to survive. When I take to the streets and pull you behind. Follow me like you've gone blind. We'll leave the miles and miles and miles behind. That tape will lead us into the next phase of our lives. Speeding away into a fate full of crime. I only hope this fantasy is not only mine.Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-88713688205712024832010-05-27T01:32:00.002-04:002010-05-27T01:32:39.223-04:00Smiling DreamsWe danced in clear puddles that reflected our matching yellow boots perfectly. Water splashed and fell from the skyy. Soaked in all directions, we had no choice but to laugh as we fell into each other. Drip by drip it streamed from our hair, our clothes, our smiles. We walked hand in hand pass the streams of umbrellas and unhappy faces. Jealous of our wet and careless joy the crowd of dry, gray faces parted as we passed through. Your eyes reflecting mine. The small rain shower had become divine.Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-1871352717964230392010-05-21T22:13:00.002-04:002010-05-21T22:15:34.577-04:00Look Closer.I view the world in rows and rows of frames. Each crack shows a tiny scene coiled in on itself. Strung together like beads on a necklace they create a wondrous view. Overall the picture is perfect. From a ways off everything is grand. But step closer and open your eyes. You see the individual brush strokes, jagged and unmatched. You see the individual tears, trying to be cloaked. You see the wealth of happiness, crushed and broken.<br />
<br />
The lack of altruism feeds our hurried footsteps. We never realize we're in such a mess. Plastic smiles are good for a glance as we lead our hurried lives in our own trance. and I really wish that someday someone will just rest their aching minds and fucking STOP. Take a breath and look the world in its eyes. Look at the once grand light, now fading, the brilliant sparkle, now dim. <br />
<br />
We are all broken. Each and every one of us. In ways only we can know. The holes in our lives are to large. Damaged goods more numerous than the stars. But look at us. Our happy, perfect world. Still turning. Still living. <br />
<br />
And that's the point isn't it? Frost says life goes on. It does, it will. Our fate is sealed. So let us not be morose. Fill these holes and fix your rips. Come to grips with reality. Look closer at each frame. Uncoil the mystry and open your eyes to the problems facing us. And make them better. Sitting idly in idealistic ignorance only dooms you to a false fate. Dig deep and make our tiny cracks whole once more. <br />
<br />
It is impossible to be irreparably broken. You just have to let hope soak in. I'll help. I promise. You have to let me. In the end we will all be happy.<br />
<br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img23.imageshack.us/i/heartcrack.jpg/'><img src='http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/9091/heartcrack.jpg' border='0'/></a>Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-66501090781106017362010-05-16T03:01:00.001-04:002010-05-16T03:01:27.775-04:00idealistic identitiesin a perfect world, stickers always peel off clean, the weather man is always right, bags of chips are full, the most wrinkled dollars are accepted by any machine, markers dont bleed through the page, there is always milk for cereal, the other sock never goes missing, the perforate page tears out clean every time, the pencil lead never breaks while sharpening, all of the popcorn kernals pop, people respond to texts immediatly, someone always has a pen. in a perfect world lonliness is something we only read of in books.Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-50848600389642822362010-05-05T23:35:00.000-04:002010-05-05T23:35:06.436-04:00Here it is... i guess.how can i restrain this feeling that is such a pain, oh how can i restrain from living this world with nothing to say, what i see has caught me outraged, seething with inner angst, just trying to get through the day, it's all i can do to stay awake, to keep from falling off this bank, into the abyss of darkness, which in fact i helped create. yet this is the world, so have faith.<br />
<br />
<br />
i rarely post without editing or thinking. this was typed in a rush and in "angst"<br />
<br />
<br />
i work and work and sleep and sleep and through it all i cannot help but think, of you... of you... of you...Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-70323222537379012652010-04-21T01:24:00.001-04:002010-04-23T03:05:41.317-04:00Here I go again....This is an old post, I thought I'd dig it up again as it seems kind of relevant right now. I'm sorry I don't have anything original lately... It's been a rough while. <br />
<br />
Over my head<br />
It's all washed away<br />
Nothing makes sense<br />
Drifting every day<br />
Waiting for time<br />
To right every wrong<br />
waiting is pointless<br />
wish I was strong<br />
If life was easy<br />
I wouldn't be here<br />
I would be smiling<br />
with nothing to fear<br />
But just like pandora<br />
There is always one thing<br />
Hope will get me through<br />
Happiness it will bring.<br />
<br />
Just make sure to pick them up when they shatter. Tape them back together. Fill this empty hole and make me whole again. I'll be renewed, but never the same. Always changed, like stained glass, little of the original remains.<br />
<br />
I can't make you hang around,<br />
I can't wash you off my skin.<br />
You won't remember anyway.<br />
<br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img694.imageshack.us/i/ntr1603.jpg/'><img src='http://img694.imageshack.us/img694/2470/ntr1603.jpg' border='0'/></a>Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-85269728667138256482010-04-14T01:25:00.000-04:002010-04-14T01:25:14.464-04:00You caught me by surprise.<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img89.imageshack.us/i/ntr1603.jpg/'><img src='http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/2470/ntr1603.jpg' border='0'/></a><br />
<br />
You caught me by surprise. When I was least expecting it. I couldn't hide my eyes. So next time I'll follow Watterson in his unsurpassed wit. Instead of just stammering out a useless reply.<br />
<br />
Next time you ask I'll know what to say. I'll do it the Calvin way.<br />
<br />
I do Not BELiEvE iN LovE. THERE is NoNE at FiRst siGHt oR EvER. aLL is imaGiNaRY and LovE iN tHE tEMPoRaL SENSE is aN iLLuSioN. THis QuEstioN, tHEREFoRE, is MEaNiNGLEss aNd iMPossiBLE to aNSwER.<br />
<br />
But you know I don't believe it.Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-45333676693890365222010-04-11T04:10:00.001-04:002010-04-11T04:10:54.359-04:00Wish There was Something I could say...Sometimes... I run out of words.<br />
Sometimes... I type forever and delete it all.<br />
Sometimes... I write one line and let it sit.<br />
Sometimes... I find that nothing I write fits.<br />
Sometimes... I just give up.<br />
but<br />
Every Time... I start over again.<br />
Every Time... I finally know what I want to say.<br />
Every Time... I write it all somehow.<br />
Every Time... I finally let it all out.<br />
Every Time... I find a way to make it work.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I wish people were more like words. I would be able to mold and fit them to my life, my mood, my needs. But then Every Time I realize that working with words is more difficult than most people.<br />
<br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img191.imageshack.us/i/ntr1603.jpg/'><img src='http://img191.imageshack.us/img191/2470/ntr1603.jpg' border='0'/></a>Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-63140288619506930072010-04-11T03:40:00.002-04:002010-04-11T03:42:09.031-04:00Sail On, On a Distant Highway...<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img402.imageshack.us/i/ntr1603.jpg/'><img src='http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/2470/ntr1603.jpg' border='0'/></a><br />
<br />
Darkness surrounds you in the worst of times. As your speed away from the beast of your minds. Alone in this world with no one in sight. Only the stars and your headlights shining bright. Nothing to see to distract your thoughts. Nothing is different other than being distraught. Your mind is racing with the world. All because of one damn girl. And when the end meets the end, you've had all you can take. You end up making that one phone call you never thought you'd make.<br />
<br />
It helped. And you kept on keepin' on.Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-46802058888634653922010-04-08T22:55:00.000-04:002010-04-08T22:55:43.206-04:00It keeps on rollin'Written on my hand these comforting words streak across my wrinkles as the ink spreads.<br />
It slowly dries until it is forever embedded into my skin, well at least until water erases the thought! I am not to a permanent level. Yet. <br />
You see I am just wasting away. My time, my mind, my life. Each slow step progresses forward. Each new message only a limited relief. Something to talk about for a day. Or two. Different colours. Different ideas. Creativity at its limited fineness. Because these words only stay put until the soap sold by the big market retailer sends them spiraling down the drain.<br />
<br />
*Did you know that the Coriolis Effect (the one which sends water spiraling down drains one way or the other depending if you're north or south of the equator) only works in large scale things? So the toilet or the sink doesn't spin different in Australia... most toilets shoot the water at angles anyway so the water spins the direction Kohler wants it to really.*<br />
<br />
I'd rather buy my soap from 5th street I think. In my hometown I always went to the small grocery store that nobody frequented rather than the big name that we all know and love. Even when it cost just a bit more. Hell, maybe it wasn't to support them. Maybe it was just to smile at that same old lady behind the counter everytime and listen to her call me "sonny-boy" as she handed me my foodstuffs. Simply because no one else had ever called me that before...<br />
<br />
But we live in a beautiful world. No matter where I buy my peanut butter from, or which way the water spins, or even what words I write on my hands day after endless day. It still makes me smile every time I see the sun. It still makes me happy to see someone. And even though I (personally) hate the sight of a dove. No matter where I look on this godforsaken earth, I can't help but find love.<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
I guess it will all work out after all!<br />
<br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img519.imageshack.us/i/ntr1603.jpg/'><img src='http://img519.imageshack.us/img519/2470/ntr1603.jpg' border='0'/></a>Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-62516942719368018632010-04-07T01:17:00.000-04:002010-04-07T01:17:55.490-04:00Time doesn't wait for me.We'll break the world into pieces. And die for a hopeless cause.<br />
Running around in circles, wishing we could just push pause.<br />
Picking and choosing our desires, nothing else could be higher.<br />
We'll proclaim our loyalty in unabashed voices.<br />
This sense of freedom is just like our t-shirt choices.<br />
In the end we'll see that it was all just a waste of time.<br />
Clogging our heads, filling our minds. <br />
And yet we'll never get out alive.<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
Have you ever thought that maybe we cry simply because we can?<br />
Our stance for the world is simply another mode of self-expression.<br />
The self proclaimed importance of our lives is just there to fill up the empty space.<br />
For without it we'd be lost.<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
So we fight and die for an ideal.Something that may not even be real.<br />
In the end we sense all the madness and we'll know that it did not exist.<br />
But it will be to late. Because of our intensity our lives will disintegrate.<br />
<br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img121.imageshack.us/i/ntr1603.jpg/'><img src='http://img121.imageshack.us/img121/2470/ntr1603.jpg' border='0'/></a><br />
<br />
So one may ask, why do I even try? If I already know that it's hopeless?<br />
I'm wondering that myself.Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-24693446289297078482010-04-05T01:05:00.001-04:002010-04-05T01:11:35.711-04:00I think I should be Goin'With a laugh and a twirl you left my life in three short steps. With desperation and anxiety I hopped the next train west. Miles flew by as I sped through time. I traveled the world just to make you mine.<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
After all of this<br />
Do you really think I'd give up that easily?<br />
After all of this<br />
Do you really think I'd just walk away?<br />
After all of this<br />
Do you really think I'd change?<br />
After all of this<br />
Do you really think I'd forget?<br />
After all of this<br />
We are right back where we were before.<br />
<br />
<a target='_blank' title='ImageShack - Image And Video Hosting' href='http://img707.imageshack.us/i/ntr1603.jpg/'><img src='http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/2470/ntr1603.jpg' border='0'/></a>Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-26488466403527621182010-04-04T22:04:00.001-04:002010-04-05T01:01:54.689-04:00It's been such a long time.a bit of unorthodox piece today. i haven't posted in awhile. most of what I have written lately i've kept hidden in the archives, simply because i did not want to rest of the world to see them... it's time to start locking down my mind i think. i let it run to freely. and I am paying the price for my mistake. <br />
<br />
but here is something I stumbled across. it's shabby, and has no form nor style. only hesitant emotion, if you can see it. <br />
<br />
<br />
Shards of Thought<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Tenseness in my mind<br />
whirling twirling swirling<br />
ever constant<br />
<br />
never to be released<br />
except by your smile<br />
a laugh and a twinkle<br />
never seem to be in<br />
short supply<br />
<br />
except for now.<br />
you are gone<br />
and with you your<br />
smile and laugh<br />
<br />
and i have no hope<br />
The suns rays are not scarce<br />
nor is the peaceful wind that<br />
i have always loved<br />
<br />
but even these seemed to be<br />
a cynical reminder of<br />
the past<br />
<br />
why am i lost<br />
standing here alone<br />
without you or your<br />
laugh<br />
<br />
without you<br />
there is no turning back<br />
there is no change<br />
there is only forward, constant motion forward<br />
and the flow will never cease, even without you<br />
so how can i release this tenseness ?<br />
this pressure within my mind?<br />
pretend to sing and laugh again?<br />
or find a replacement that<br />
only fills half my mind<br />
<br />
I once said to another<br />
"It is such a relief, not to care"<br />
but now i wonder<br />
have i stopped caring?<br />
<br />
we shall see<br />
<br />
<br />
Because even when I made up my mind. Even once I chose to kill my emotions. I still looked to you when I was lost. I still sought your voice to guide me home.<br />
<br />
we shall see.Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6514417732602380170.post-20870718974379803162010-03-29T01:19:00.000-04:002010-03-29T01:19:43.537-04:00It's true.A moment is both tiny and vast/there is so much in something not meant to last/you smiled at me and time sped by so fast/all of life's troubles were swept into the past<br />
<br />
I'm one of three. You don't realize how special that makes me. Maybe it doesn't mean much to you. And if so, then we'll never see this through. But I am ready.<br />
<br />
You are one of two. The others don't count. As much as you name names, they don't rank that high. Maybe you'll never understand why. The others will never see me cry.<br />
<br />
I dream of a place where the stories I write come true. In a city we have never known, where the only currency are smiles and hugs. Where time spent together seems to last forever and promises only matter when they're whispered.<br />
<br />
And a day when the darkness doesn't scare anyone. A day when loneliness is a myth. No matter who you're with. Trust is key... I wish you could be that way with me.<br />
<br />
Cause ya know babe, I've been trying to wake up peacefully.Ryan Averyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06038976387570269425noreply@blogger.com0