Sunday, April 4, 2010

It's been such a long time.

a bit of unorthodox piece today. i haven't posted in awhile. most of what I have written lately i've kept hidden in the archives, simply because i did not want to rest of the world to see them... it's time to start locking down my mind i think. i let it run to freely. and I am paying the price for my mistake.

but here is something I stumbled across. it's shabby, and has no form nor style. only hesitant emotion, if you can see it.

Shards of Thought

Tenseness in my mind
whirling twirling swirling
ever constant

never to be released
except by your smile
a laugh and a twinkle
never seem to be in
short supply

except for now.
you are gone
and with you your
smile and laugh

and i have no hope
The suns rays are not scarce
nor is the peaceful wind that
i have always loved

but even these seemed to be
a cynical reminder of
the past

why am i lost
standing here alone
without you or your

without you
there is no turning back
there is no change
there is only forward, constant motion forward
and the flow will never cease, even without you
so how can i release this tenseness ?
this pressure within my mind?
pretend to sing and laugh again?
or find a replacement that
only fills half my mind

I once said to another
"It is such a relief, not to care"
but now i wonder
have i stopped caring?

we shall see

Because even when I made up my mind. Even once I chose to kill my emotions. I still looked to you when I was lost. I still sought your voice to guide me home.

we shall see.

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