It's been such a long time.

a bit of unorthodox piece today. i haven't posted in awhile. most of what I have written lately i've kept hidden in the archives, simply because i did not want to rest of the world to see them... it's time to start locking down my mind i think. i let it run to freely. and I am paying the price for my mistake.

but here is something I stumbled across. it's shabby, and has no form nor style. only hesitant emotion, if you can see it.


Shards of Thought



Tenseness in my mind
whirling twirling swirling
ever constant

never to be released
except by your smile
a laugh and a twinkle
never seem to be in
short supply

except for now.
you are gone
and with you your
smile and laugh

and i have no hope
The suns rays are not scarce
nor is the peaceful wind that
i have always loved

but even these seemed to be
a cynical reminder of
the past

why am i lost
standing here alone
without you or your
laugh

without you
there is no turning back
there is no change
there is only forward, constant motion forward
and the flow will never cease, even without you
so how can i release this tenseness ?
this pressure within my mind?
pretend to sing and laugh again?
or find a replacement that
only fills half my mind

I once said to another
"It is such a relief, not to care"
but now i wonder
have i stopped caring?

we shall see


Because even when I made up my mind. Even once I chose to kill my emotions. I still looked to you when I was lost. I still sought your voice to guide me home.

we shall see.

It's true.

A moment is both tiny and vast/there is so much in something not meant to last/you smiled at me and time sped by so fast/all of life's troubles were swept into the past

I'm one of three. You don't realize how special that makes me. Maybe it doesn't mean much to you. And if so, then we'll never see this through. But I am ready.

You are one of two. The others don't count. As much as you name names, they don't rank that high. Maybe you'll never understand why. The others will never see me cry.

I dream of a place where the stories I write come true. In a city we have never known, where the only currency are smiles and hugs. Where time spent together seems to last forever and promises only matter when they're whispered.

And a day when the darkness doesn't scare anyone. A day when loneliness is a myth. No matter who you're with. Trust is key... I wish you could be that way with me.

Cause ya know babe, I've been trying to wake up peacefully.

It's not your fault.

As the bass hits your heart jumps in rhythm. Miles speed by with every rotation. White knuckled fury combines with a stiff foot as you surge forward. Encased in emptiness as the sun warms your hair. The box that encloses you hides you from despair. The glass in front becomes a blank canvas where you scribble thoughts and ideas and words in hurried, messy bits. The turmoil inside disguises everything else. Lost in your head the rest of the world slips by.
Just like the rhythm of pounding feet. Counting a cadence with each footfall. Counting your thoughts with each exhaled breath. A mind-numbing repeating rhythm. The burn starts in spots, then spreads through your body. Leaving it all behind you begin to focus. The pavement in front becomes a blank canvas where you scribble thoughts and ideas and words in hurried, messy bits. A beautiful rhythm. Lost in your head the rest of the world slips by.

I understand. Everyone is the same.

So please consider, that it goes both ways. That life will come and go. Time repeats itself in curious ways. And that we have all been there before. We will all go there again. Today is no different than tomorrow. Tomorrow no different than yesterday.Remember that it will all be ok. And when the wind blows strong, know that nothing is wrong, the world just feels like living a little. Life will be peaceful by morning.

It can only go up from here...

Alone driving in sunlight.
Driving until you're in my sight.
Waiting to make your day.
Waiting for what you'll say.
Spending time in the sun.
Spending life with you is fun.
Climbing such highs together.
Climbing, ignoring the weather.
Looking out upon the world.
Looking at a pretty girl.
Sitting beside you, time to smile.
Sitting together just for awhile.



It's such a high to see you smile. Heads together in the dark. Holding you tight is just the start.

It's Your World.

When you look at your life... ask yourself, who gives a shit?

Do what you want.

Steal a stop sign.
Rob a bank.
Light a match.
Burn your house down.
Run in circles.
Try to fly.
Smash a window.
Blare your music.
Hug at a stranger.
SCREAM until you can't stand up.
Fall down onto the grass.
Stare at the sky.
Throw your hands up.
Run until you're breathless.
Play in traffic.
Throw baseballs off a building.
Get in a fight.
Hitch-hike to nowhere.
Love the first thing you see.
Walk around blindfolded.
Play hopscotch in the mall.
Top 100 mph.
Skip into a movie theater.
Make someone's day.
And never forget to smile.

For god's sake just breath the fucking air and live your life!

Live Deliberately! You Are Free!