Is This All Make Believe???

I could sit down and write forever. Typing away at my keyboard, pen scribbling on loose napkins at a cafe, mental notes as I ride a jerking, bumpy subway. Everyone who read my words would understand. I could convince the world I knew what I was talking about. That I had all of the answers.

But the truth is that when it comes to love, nobody knows what they are talking about.

I am not really good with words. And there is really nothing left to say.

I'll go back to writing nice things when I am in love with the world again.

Because right now,

I don't want you in.

I can't decide.

Rule number one, Smile as you walk into the room. 3-Set with an HB, open, transition, DHV, Neg, qualify, isolate, close. Follow the routine. It's a game. If you don't win that's fine, find another set. Play again.

Fuck that.

There is no formula, no guaranteed process. It's all emotion. Hearts and Minds battle with such consistency. Every moment war rages upon every plane of thought. A look or squeeze can sway the tide of battle. Should logic or feelings surge ahead today? I can't decide which side should win.

You tell me to live it out, let emotions take hold, to take a chance. And at the same time I respond that I can't get burned. It's not just me, you have the same issue. The same struggle. One night doesn't change the tide of war, but one smile could win over my mind.

You're scared to make the wrong decision. Who knows what the future holds? All I know is what I want, but I can't ask for that. It could catch me on fire. And I promised myself I won't burn.

After all, even Bonnie and Clyde got what they had coming in the end.
But then my heart fights back, because you said yourself, "We'd make a horrible Bonnie and Clyde". Maybe I can ask after all.