You caught me by surprise.

You caught me by surprise. When I was least expecting it. I couldn't hide my eyes. So next time I'll follow Watterson in his unsurpassed wit. Instead of just stammering out a useless reply.

Next time you ask I'll know what to say. I'll do it the Calvin way.

I do Not BELiEvE iN LovE. THERE is NoNE at FiRst siGHt oR EvER. aLL is imaGiNaRY and LovE iN tHE tEMPoRaL SENSE is aN iLLuSioN. THis QuEstioN, tHEREFoRE, is MEaNiNGLEss aNd iMPossiBLE to aNSwER.

But you know I don't believe it.

It's true.

A moment is both tiny and vast/there is so much in something not meant to last/you smiled at me and time sped by so fast/all of life's troubles were swept into the past

I'm one of three. You don't realize how special that makes me. Maybe it doesn't mean much to you. And if so, then we'll never see this through. But I am ready.

You are one of two. The others don't count. As much as you name names, they don't rank that high. Maybe you'll never understand why. The others will never see me cry.

I dream of a place where the stories I write come true. In a city we have never known, where the only currency are smiles and hugs. Where time spent together seems to last forever and promises only matter when they're whispered.

And a day when the darkness doesn't scare anyone. A day when loneliness is a myth. No matter who you're with. Trust is key... I wish you could be that way with me.

Cause ya know babe, I've been trying to wake up peacefully.

Is This All Make Believe???

I could sit down and write forever. Typing away at my keyboard, pen scribbling on loose napkins at a cafe, mental notes as I ride a jerking, bumpy subway. Everyone who read my words would understand. I could convince the world I knew what I was talking about. That I had all of the answers.

But the truth is that when it comes to love, nobody knows what they are talking about.

I am not really good with words. And there is really nothing left to say.

I'll go back to writing nice things when I am in love with the world again.

Because right now,

I don't want you in.

Let's Ignore the World.

It's all so very simple. Living life as we know it. We spend our lives in sweet monotony. It's all pretty plain. But that's ok. We're happy with that. Let's watch the snow fall inch by inch. Let water dance with sand. See the wind race through trees. In our minds life will be grand. We're not insane. Watching each little thing. Carelessly growing up in circles of serenity. Spending each second in innocence. So let's go somewhere only we know. Somewhere we can be alone.

Deviation from this life is hopeless. We just fall asleep again, to avoid it all. Or maybe I was just asleep. I knew it was a dream to good to be true. Don't tell me I was just asleep. Let this fantasy be mine to keep. But if it's true, I'll be there when you awake. How else are cheeks kept dry today? But that's just the tip of the iceberg. I'll do whatever it takes. Given the chance.

So when nightmares come alive and I'm struggling to survive. Don't wake me up. I'm sleeping in. Searching for a world in which dreams come true and the earth slows down for two.

Escaping Together

They warned and scolded us. Watching every move we made. Told us to play nice and behave. We had to listen because they knew better. But we still walked dangerously close to one another. And they gave us a talking to. The first chance we had we began to run. Running as fast as we could. Holding hands. Leaving the lights and noise behind, we ran somewhere only we know. Down deserted paths and tree-lined corridors. Escaping the world with all of its closing doors. Stealing away into the night.

Together.

Then it happened. We were alone. Laying there gasping for breath. Eyes upon each other. Only smiles were to be seen. The beating of our hearts was the only sound.
We saw the window and jumped. We dared when no one else did. We alone are happy.
They'll make a statue because of us. We're not the only ones who want to escape. Others will follow in time. It'll be contagious. Just like your smile.

Life is Worth Living

Wenn Es Passiert.
Ein Herzschlag nur für mich.

when it happens.
only one heartbeat for me.
in seconds I will code.
my simple heart will explode.
those who blink do not understand.
those who pass by cannot comprehend.
those who are with me.
no doubt see it clear.
and in those few seconds.
I hope they shed tears.
if you don't love this, what instead.
for living is useless without passion.
even though chaos is all around.
nothing is really new.
find yourself a different point of view.
when it happens.
there'll only be one heartbeat for me.
in seconds I will code.
my simple heart will explode.



you've got to realize. that when death comes, it'll be quick. the world is in disrepair, but that doesn't mean you need to despair. find your world, make it your sun and moon. and enjoy it while you can. because in the end, shit happens. then you die. so live on the edge and love with everything in your soul.

Beautiful Binoculars

If I had you for a day, I would steal you away. From your friends, your family, your home. I'd take you to the nearest tourist trap, perhaps an overlook with some random view of the city. Of course there along the railing (meant to keep us from falling to our deaths) would be one of those pay 50 cents get 1 minute of super power binoculars. The kind you have to step up to and put your entire face into! I'd insist you give it try and only after I had already inserted the coins would you agree. Stepping up on the platform you would line your eyes up with the viewfinder. And then looking out into the world, you would not see the city skyline far out in front of us. Instead somehow, someway, you would see yourself, through my eyes.

Gone would be your doubts and self-depreciation. Gone would be every little thing you would like to change about yourself. Instead you'd notice the little things, the important things. You'd realize that when you smile, your entire face lights up. That tilting your head makes your hair fall just perfectly across your face. That your excitement radiates from your eyes as they sparkle in the sun.

Your worries and doubts would fade with each passing second, gazing at your own beautiful reflection. Until you finally saw yourself as I do. Perfection, simply perfect for me. Time would tick by as the meter clicked away, the 50 cents running low. Until finally the shutters would shut with a click! Leaving you staring into darkness.

Turning around you'd see me standing there and you'd finally realize what I've been telling you all along is true.

That you are beautiful.

You mean the world to me. I hope that soon you'll be my sun, moon, and stars too.

Unforgettable Eyes

I look into your eyes and fall into the void.
Captivation. Innocence. Serenity. Perfect.
Such a kaleidoscope represents your personality.
Your eyes are the steep, unforgiving trail to your soul.
I could sit and gaze and dream and wonder. If only you'd let me.
Let me fall for you, piece by piece, blink by blink.
It's not an obsession, though it could be. If you want.
Open your eyes at the world around you.
Open them wide and smile.
Let us sit together for awhile.
And who knows, maybe tomorrow we'll do it all over again.

Covert Images

I wish I could borrow your camera if only for a while. I'd steal it for a day or two snapping photos here and there. For every set of eyes sees the world with a different view and I'd show you mine with style.

You'd find your camera right where you left it, maybe sitting in a chair. Under a pile of blankets it'd be sitting idly waiting for you to take a look at what's inside.

And then you would find it. Browsing through the pictures of your friends or your cat you'd come across one that I took. You wouldn't be able to remember when or why you took the picture. Flipping through the next ten or so you'd realize that someone else had done the deed. Intrigued I imagine you'd hurriedly look at each new picture, pausing for a moment to give a sweet smile at kids playing in the park or a balloon as it spirals skyward.

Every 20 pictures or so I'd give you a hint, a picture of my shirt or glasses. Piece by piece you would put my puzzle together. Forming an image of me in your mind. Slowly you would realize who the covert photographer was.

And I hope it would make you smile.

Infinity in a Second

An instant can last forever and an eternity can flash by in an instant. How can we measure that which leaps back and forth between the two? I dreamt that I wrote a message for you in the sand, but the waves washed it away and you never saw. How can we expect to live in such uncertain times? When cruel waves erase that which I want to last forever? When the next snowfall or sunrise destroys my heart drawn in the snow.

How can you measure the distance between us? You are indeed closer to me than any person I've walked past in a crowded mall, or stood nose to nose with on a jerking, swinging bus ride. You are in my mind and heart, which places you forever in my arms.

I hope the moment you are in my arms will last forever, because each instant I spend away from you seems like forever.

I want real-life slow motion, to watch the twinkle in your smile, the look in your eyes. To watch your beauty in such detail that I can count the snow flakes as they fall to rest on your shoulders.

I want every moment that we are together to last for infinity, to make up for all the lifetimes I've lived without you.

Fate

I want to meet you without planning it. Just run into you randomly as we pass through each others lives. Pass you on the street as you drop your mittens, smile as I return them to you. For that fleeting instant we would be in the others life, that one moment the constant worry of the world would lift off of our shoulders. One smile, given and hopefully returned, would bring instantaneous peace to our hearts. And who knows? Maybe I'd get curious and follow you to the bus stop sitting a few seats behind you. I'd realize my obsession with that small smile I had seen only moments before was borderline creepy and proceed to get off at the next stop. Accidentally getting off at the wrong stop you'd follow me off the bus and smile when you saw me walking away. Chasing after me you'd make small talk and from there we'd get a drink. We'd walk downtown and laugh as I failed to catch a taxi, having never tried before, and live the rest of the day in each others eyes. Run into the candy store and live like we were 6 years old. Find the tallest building in the city and ride the elevators till we hit the top. Attempt to sneak out onto the roof, and unable to open the rooftop access we'd laugh at every floor on the way down, but smile secretly when we had company for a floor or two. We'd find a lost life and teach them to sing, but argue over what song was most appropriate. Colour crayon pictures in the library, screaming and yelling up and down the rows of books. We'd steal food from a vice presidents dinner and give it to someone laying in the street. Lose interest in the world and get lost together for awhile, then come smiling back into reality when a sudden rain shower caught us outside. Each cold wet drop would dampen our bodies but not our spirits, we'd be shivering and completely soaked without an umbrella but then we'd kiss to keep our lips warm. We'd lay and watch the sunset over the mountains. Watching the colours spread across the sky. And as you lay in my arms I'd finally ask you your name, which I had not known all day long. As you whisper it in my ear we'd both smile and snuggle closer to each other.