Look Closer.

I view the world in rows and rows of frames. Each crack shows a tiny scene coiled in on itself. Strung together like beads on a necklace they create a wondrous view. Overall the picture is perfect. From a ways off everything is grand. But step closer and open your eyes. You see the individual brush strokes, jagged and unmatched. You see the individual tears, trying to be cloaked. You see the wealth of happiness, crushed and broken.

The lack of altruism feeds our hurried footsteps. We never realize we're in such a mess. Plastic smiles are good for a glance as we lead our hurried lives in our own trance. and I really wish that someday someone will just rest their aching minds and fucking STOP. Take a breath and look the world in its eyes. Look at the once grand light, now fading, the brilliant sparkle, now dim.

We are all broken. Each and every one of us. In ways only we can know. The holes in our lives are to large. Damaged goods more numerous than the stars. But look at us. Our happy, perfect world. Still turning. Still living.

And that's the point isn't it? Frost says life goes on. It does, it will. Our fate is sealed. So let us not be morose. Fill these holes and fix your rips. Come to grips with reality. Look closer at each frame. Uncoil the mystry and open your eyes to the problems facing us. And make them better. Sitting idly in idealistic ignorance only dooms you to a false fate. Dig deep and make our tiny cracks whole once more.

It is impossible to be irreparably broken. You just have to let hope soak in. I'll help. I promise. You have to let me. In the end we will all be happy.

idealistic identities

in a perfect world, stickers always peel off clean, the weather man is always right, bags of chips are full, the most wrinkled dollars are accepted by any machine, markers dont bleed through the page, there is always milk for cereal, the other sock never goes missing, the perforate page tears out clean every time, the pencil lead never breaks while sharpening, all of the popcorn kernals pop, people respond to texts immediatly, someone always has a pen. in a perfect world lonliness is something we only read of in books.

Here it is... i guess.

how can i restrain this feeling that is such a pain, oh how can i restrain from living this world with nothing to say, what i see has caught me outraged, seething with inner angst, just trying to get through the day, it's all i can do to stay awake, to keep from falling off this bank, into the abyss of darkness, which in fact i helped create. yet this is the world, so have faith.


i rarely post without editing or thinking. this was typed in a rush and in "angst"


i work and work and sleep and sleep and through it all i cannot help but think, of you... of you... of you...

Here I go again....

This is an old post, I thought I'd dig it up again as it seems kind of relevant right now. I'm sorry I don't have anything original lately... It's been a rough while.

Over my head
It's all washed away
Nothing makes sense
Drifting every day
Waiting for time
To right every wrong
waiting is pointless
wish I was strong
If life was easy
I wouldn't be here
I would be smiling
with nothing to fear
But just like pandora
There is always one thing
Hope will get me through
Happiness it will bring.

Just make sure to pick them up when they shatter. Tape them back together. Fill this empty hole and make me whole again. I'll be renewed, but never the same. Always changed, like stained glass, little of the original remains.

I can't make you hang around,
I can't wash you off my skin.
You won't remember anyway.

You caught me by surprise.

You caught me by surprise. When I was least expecting it. I couldn't hide my eyes. So next time I'll follow Watterson in his unsurpassed wit. Instead of just stammering out a useless reply.

Next time you ask I'll know what to say. I'll do it the Calvin way.

I do Not BELiEvE iN LovE. THERE is NoNE at FiRst siGHt oR EvER. aLL is imaGiNaRY and LovE iN tHE tEMPoRaL SENSE is aN iLLuSioN. THis QuEstioN, tHEREFoRE, is MEaNiNGLEss aNd iMPossiBLE to aNSwER.

But you know I don't believe it.