Time doesn't wait for me.

We'll break the world into pieces. And die for a hopeless cause.
Running around in circles, wishing we could just push pause.
Picking and choosing our desires, nothing else could be higher.
We'll proclaim our loyalty in unabashed voices.
This sense of freedom is just like our t-shirt choices.
In the end we'll see that it was all just a waste of time.
Clogging our heads, filling our minds.
And yet we'll never get out alive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you ever thought that maybe we cry simply because we can?
Our stance for the world is simply another mode of self-expression.
The self proclaimed importance of our lives is just there to fill up the empty space.
For without it we'd be lost.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So we fight and die for an ideal.Something that may not even be real.
In the end we sense all the madness and we'll know that it did not exist.
But it will be to late. Because of our intensity our lives will disintegrate.



So one may ask, why do I even try? If I already know that it's hopeless?
I'm wondering that myself.

I think I should be Goin'

With a laugh and a twirl you left my life in three short steps. With desperation and anxiety I hopped the next train west. Miles flew by as I sped through time. I traveled the world just to make you mine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After all of this
Do you really think I'd give up that easily?
After all of this
Do you really think I'd just walk away?
After all of this
Do you really think I'd change?
After all of this
Do you really think I'd forget?
After all of this
We are right back where we were before.

It's been such a long time.

a bit of unorthodox piece today. i haven't posted in awhile. most of what I have written lately i've kept hidden in the archives, simply because i did not want to rest of the world to see them... it's time to start locking down my mind i think. i let it run to freely. and I am paying the price for my mistake.

but here is something I stumbled across. it's shabby, and has no form nor style. only hesitant emotion, if you can see it.


Shards of Thought



Tenseness in my mind
whirling twirling swirling
ever constant

never to be released
except by your smile
a laugh and a twinkle
never seem to be in
short supply

except for now.
you are gone
and with you your
smile and laugh

and i have no hope
The suns rays are not scarce
nor is the peaceful wind that
i have always loved

but even these seemed to be
a cynical reminder of
the past

why am i lost
standing here alone
without you or your
laugh

without you
there is no turning back
there is no change
there is only forward, constant motion forward
and the flow will never cease, even without you
so how can i release this tenseness ?
this pressure within my mind?
pretend to sing and laugh again?
or find a replacement that
only fills half my mind

I once said to another
"It is such a relief, not to care"
but now i wonder
have i stopped caring?

we shall see


Because even when I made up my mind. Even once I chose to kill my emotions. I still looked to you when I was lost. I still sought your voice to guide me home.

we shall see.

It's true.

A moment is both tiny and vast/there is so much in something not meant to last/you smiled at me and time sped by so fast/all of life's troubles were swept into the past

I'm one of three. You don't realize how special that makes me. Maybe it doesn't mean much to you. And if so, then we'll never see this through. But I am ready.

You are one of two. The others don't count. As much as you name names, they don't rank that high. Maybe you'll never understand why. The others will never see me cry.

I dream of a place where the stories I write come true. In a city we have never known, where the only currency are smiles and hugs. Where time spent together seems to last forever and promises only matter when they're whispered.

And a day when the darkness doesn't scare anyone. A day when loneliness is a myth. No matter who you're with. Trust is key... I wish you could be that way with me.

Cause ya know babe, I've been trying to wake up peacefully.

It's not your fault.

As the bass hits your heart jumps in rhythm. Miles speed by with every rotation. White knuckled fury combines with a stiff foot as you surge forward. Encased in emptiness as the sun warms your hair. The box that encloses you hides you from despair. The glass in front becomes a blank canvas where you scribble thoughts and ideas and words in hurried, messy bits. The turmoil inside disguises everything else. Lost in your head the rest of the world slips by.
Just like the rhythm of pounding feet. Counting a cadence with each footfall. Counting your thoughts with each exhaled breath. A mind-numbing repeating rhythm. The burn starts in spots, then spreads through your body. Leaving it all behind you begin to focus. The pavement in front becomes a blank canvas where you scribble thoughts and ideas and words in hurried, messy bits. A beautiful rhythm. Lost in your head the rest of the world slips by.

I understand. Everyone is the same.

So please consider, that it goes both ways. That life will come and go. Time repeats itself in curious ways. And that we have all been there before. We will all go there again. Today is no different than tomorrow. Tomorrow no different than yesterday.Remember that it will all be ok. And when the wind blows strong, know that nothing is wrong, the world just feels like living a little. Life will be peaceful by morning.